Sunday, November 21, 2010

Our wedding story

I realize I've withheld this information for a while...or at least the details of it.  However it would be wrong for me to have a whole blog about my experiences in the Philippines, without including one of the most (or even THE most) important event that occured while I was here.  So even if whoever reads this doesn't care, I will at least have it as a reference or memory for myself..and I guess this is more of our entire story, because I feel the pieces all fit together so well..so here goes:

Corey and I met at a salsa dancing benefit now almost 3 years ago. I was in school obtaining my Master’s in counseling at the time, and knew that when I was done with school I wanted to live a year abroad to help victims of human trafficking. Pretty soon after we met, I remember sitting down to dinner with my two roommates.  We started having an innocent conversation about dating, and Amanda was asking of the people we had met so far in North Carolina who we would consider going on a date with.  After thinking about it, I mentioned I wouldn't mind getting to know Corey more, who...ironically...called me at the same time I was answering this question.  After pursuing me a bit :), Corey and I became exclusive. Graduation quickly arrived, and so did the decision about whether or not I should serve abroad in the Philippines. Knowing that, because of several factors, he could not go with me if I went.

After many nights of tears and intense discussions, Corey looked at me and told me I had to go and that if I didn’t I would regret it…which is exactly what I needed to hear from him, and one of the greatest acts of love he has ever done for me. In discussing what my absence would mean for a year, we decided to maybe take a break once I actually left. I was devastated, and little did I know Corey would soon change his mind during a conversation in Taco Bell one Sunday morning. Corey was expressing to me how badly he wanted to get married and how me leaving for a year did not fit into his life plans. I then asked him, “well do you want to marry your life plans or do you want to marry ME?” Apparently, that day he went out and picked the ring to showcase his grandmother’s diamond that he would soon be giving to me.

It was Christmas morning, about a month before I left. With my family present, he had me read aloud a love letter found under the Christmas tree which at the bottom stated I had a prize waiting for me on the tree. I scurried around until I found an engraved heart ornament saying “my heart will always be yours Love Corey.” Behind it was a small box I was utterly shocked to find. I turned and saw both my dad and sister crying, and when I turned back Corey was on his knee. It was so overwhelming, and emotional. I guess we had a change of plans.  The rest of that morning was a blur, although I do remember immediately afterwards Amy opening her next present which anticlimacticly turned out to be....... a puzzle.

Before I left, we decided to organize the big fancy wedding once I got back in the States at the end of the year since it was difficult to do anything overseas, and that we would likely host it in the fall of the following year.

About a month before Corey came to visit me, we were discussing what would happen when I returned.  The conversation was difficult, as they had been before, because there were so many unknowns...where would I live, where would I go, where should I look for a job and one night on the phone we joked about just getting married at city hall when I got home so at least we could live together and start are lives together while planning the next step. Then I joked about getting married in the Philippines when he came to visit, but the joke didn't seem funny....something felt right. And we had another change of plans.

We decided we wouldn't do it without the blessing of our parents.  Corey corageoulsy requested to be the one to talk to my parents.  They were incredibly supportive, although I know it was difficult for them just because they so badly wanted to be a part of it...and we're just so thankful for that sacrifice they gave so graciously gave us.  Best wedding present they could have given.  I do know my dad is proud he has a daughter that is such a goody-goody that she has to ask permission to elope.  Corey's parents were also more than supportive, as his mother had been writing him letters for a while requesting that we become husband and wife. :) 

We also decided that getting married here would not prevent us from having the wedding and reception we wanted to host when I returned to the States.  We do believe it's important to celebate and share our love with our friends and family.  So yes, I am being a pretty pretty princess and we are having two weddings.  I'm going to get married many many times, but always to the same man.

And thus began the adventure of getting married in the Philippines. When we first decided it was a go, Corey reiterated that I was not allowed to use money given to me by supporters to pay for the wedding, of course, and that I couldn't spend a majority of my time here planning a wedding since my time was devoted to issues related with human trafficking.  He was incredible, he did most of the research and would just deposit money in my account, then tell me who to pay.  I was determined not to be a bridezilla, which I think I did a pretty good job, except to issues I had related to city hall and getting a marriage license here.  I just....don't even want to type out those details because it re-stresses me out again. I will say I've been to Pasig City Hall, The US Embassy, and The National Statistics Office more than 10 times....and that I was known as "the crying girl" to a lady in city hall who tried to help me when I didn't understand what was going on. 

We got married in El Nido, which is a very small town on the island of Palawan.  Because we didn't want to buy a cake in Manila that would have to fly with us, we had to purchase our cake from a store in Puerto Princesa, the capital city we flew into. It cost us 160 pesos which is the equivalent of about $4...and why it looks the way it does. But it was delicious, needless to say. They had some wedding figurines at the store, but none of them had a black male so Corey and I decided we would go with wedding cake toppers that would moreso represent us: Belle and Naruto...I've always wanted to be a Disney princess, and Corey loves anime, so it seemed to be more fitting for us.




After taking a very squished 7 hour van ride from Puerto Princesa, we (and the cake, that was even seat belted at times) made it to El Nido. We were the first couple to be married at this amazing resort that you have to take about a 1 hour boat ride from land to get to. Corey and I were so calm the day of the wedding. It was such a peaceful place, so quiet compared to what I was used to in Manila. I think he even took a nap in a hammock while I was getting my hair and make up done. My bouquet was given to me by the staff at the resort who had gone into the market earlier that morning and bought some local flowers.  They covered every detail, and I didn't have to worry about anything.  It rained while I was getting ready, which only seemed to add to the relaxation we felt. Since it was rainy season, we were prepared for any sort of disaster and were ready to get married rain or shine. Fortunately for us, it rained before and after our ceremony, and even gave us a beautiful sunset to finish out the night.

The ceremony was so special to us because it included a letter from my parents, and a poem Corey's mother had given to me that was also read at her wedding. We incorporated an old Celtic Tradition of "tying the knot" with three strands of ribbon, one representing Corey, one representing me, and one representing God, basing it on the scripture saying a chord of three strands can't be broken. We used the New Zealand prayer book (thank you, Catherine) to say our vows then wrote and read our own. Afterwards we went to the beach to wash each other's feet, symbolizing our intention to serve and respect each in other in our marriage. We finished the ceremony by taking communion together, then went back down on the beach for our first dance to Aladdin's "A Whole New World." Our dance concluded with small fireworks shot over the dock.  Lastly, the staff at the resport prepared a romantic dinner for the two of us lit by tiki torches right on the ocean, overlooking the large limestone cliff found in many of the pictures. It was a dream wedding.  And we would not have been able to do any of this if it was anywhere else.  They definitely spoiled us and made us feel like superstars.

I ended up getting his ring custom made here.  Corey had sent me a picture of a ring he really wanted in the States that unfortunately cost around $1600, and I was able to get one made especially for him for about 1/7 of the price.  And the employees there were so nice.  I had them engrave "my hero" on the inside based on one of my first memories of Corey. When we were first getting to know each other, I knew he had my number but at some point he snuck his number into my phone but labeled it as "my hero" so that when he called the next day, "my hero" was what came up. It was a sneeky move, but I have never changed it.  I also worked with a local designer to custom design and hand make my dress.

We wouldn't have changed one thing. And I know every bride has to say this...but it really was perfect. We would do the same thing all over again. I want to marry Corey every day.  At least I know I still have another wedding to plan.



For a glimpse at more pictures: http://catilo.net/2010/09/corey-megan/

Wednesday, November 17

Today was my last day of work.  I don't know, it's like for some reason my brain doesn't really register that I'm leaving.  It became the most real yesterday when I went to the shelter to go pick up some last minute pasalubong to bring home.  I decided to go to the dorm where our clients are housed just to say good bye.  It was really difficult.  I wanted to communicate to them how proud I was of them, how much hope I had for their future, and how much I loved them...which I think they got.  I hope they got. 

But anyways, the work day almost felt too normal.  I didn't feel like I was appreciating it the way I should.  I don't know if I'm just ready to go or that I feel closure from all the work that was accomplished over this year.  I have to admit...I am tired.  But I'm energized looking back over all the experiences IJM allowed me to have.  Before interns/fellows leave it required to present on your accomplishments from the year.  It almost felt therapeutic to go back to that first training in Samar...but I wasn't prepared for how well celebrated I would be.  And then the despedida (good bye party) began.  I got so spoiled. Staff from the office created picture..montage...presentations that were both funny and thoughtful, and I got real emotional when the social workers brought in several of our clients to come sing for me.  These were clients I had had the privelege on working with in the past, and I wasn't sure I would have the opportunity to even say good bye, much less be thanked by them.  What an incredible honor.  And while that would have been more than enough for a despedida, the office suprised me at the end of the day by presenting me with a drawing from me and Corey's wedding in El Nido.  It looked amazing, and I was just so blown away. 

Yes....Corey and I got married while he was here. And I'm really sorry if this is the way you found out :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sunday, November 14

I got to witness history today when I saw the Pacquiao fight.  I have to confess something.  The fights started at 9am this morning, so instead being a good girl and going to church, I spent my Sunday morning in a restaurant/bar...watching people fight each other.  And I'm so glad I decided to go.  To me, Manny is just so amazingly Filipino.  It made me fall in love with the Philippines even more. 

Most boxers try to come out looking intimidating and angry, but Manny came out smiling and waving while the Karate Kid song was being played in the background.  He looked so small compared to Margarito and I think we were all a little nervous.  When interviewed before the fight, the announcer asked him how he was feeling and instead of making cocky or intimidating statements he casually stated, "ehhh....I am ready to fight." 

My favorite moments were at the end, after Manny could have easily finished with a knockout, but ended up taking it easy on his opponent.  He said "boxing is not for killing, it's for entertainment."  then, when the announcer asked how he was going to celebrate after the fight, he invited everyone to a concert he would be having back at the hotel.  Yes, he is in a band, and when he's not doing one of those two things, he is also a congressman here in the Philippines.  A jack of all trades.  Then the interviewer asked if he wanted to ever fight Mayweather, and Manny's casual response was something like "eh, if he wants to fight then I will fight him and if he does not want to fight then that is OK."  I just want to be his friend.  The article below describes everything a lot better than I could.  I left the fight feeling so inspired and so proud of the Philippine nation.


link to article about fight

Friday, November 12

Earlier this week I had the opportunity of visiting some of our male clients at a shelter I had not visited the whole time I was here.  I was really encouraged after visiting because the staff seemed so lively and happy, the director seemed to manage the compound very well and was very eager to look out for the best interest of all 200 clients there.  I was actually able to speak in Tagalog there with some of the cutest little boys ever...yes it's true...granted they were 8 years old and younger.  Which is why I could kind of communicate.  Kind of.  I fell in love and really wanted to take them all home with me.  I don't think Corey would mind...

The director briefly mentioned that she had been trying to offer some rest and relaxation to her staff, but did not have the budget, so one of our fabulous attorneys and I promised to do a rest and relaxation workshop.  So today I spent the morning conducting a workshop on stress management and relaxation, and in the afternoon we brought in a spa team to provide each employee with a 30 minute foot massage.  It was wonderful to spoil the people who have given their lives to help such needy and wonderful children.  It blessed us to serve them in this way, and I'm glad I had trainings up until the last minute I left.  I think the attorney originally felt bad for so quickly "offering up my services" without consulting me first, but I told him that's why I was here and that it made me feel useful.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Saturday, November 6

We were invited to climb Mt. Tarak today in Bataan.  It's always exciting and refreshing to get out of Manila, and after the rice terraces earlier this year, I felt my body was prepared for anything.  We hiked up for about 3 hours until we reached a beautiful stream. We stopped for lunch and figured we might need to head back so we could get to the car before dark. Plus we had all run out of water. Not good when you have a 3 hour hike ahead of you. It was a little disappointing to accept the fact that we wouldn't reach the mountain top, but we soon found out the top of the mountain was still another 3 hour hike from the stream.  No wonder everyone else we saw were carrying camping gear...we thought we had missed out on something. 

It was still nice to be outside, get some exercise, and feel sore the next day.  I made everyone stop on the side of the road to drink some fresh buko (coconut juice straight out of the...shell?  nut? ) on the way home, so I was happy. 

uh oh

It was pleasantly suprising when the lady at Starbucks remembered me and called me by name.  It was espcially sweet when the cashier at Earle's (our favorite sandwich shop) knew my name and usual order....but when the person at Dairy Queen knows your name...for some reason it's embarassing.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Confessions of a Taxi Rider

I rode in a cab today that used the emergency brake instead of the normal brakes for braking.  Am I saying brake too much?  Anyways, I know the normal brakes worked because he used them sometimes in heavy traffic, when he needed them quickly, but he used the emergency break for every other time he needed to slow down.  The only reason I can think why he would do that would be to save gas?  When I first got here in Manila, Hope had told me about a time she rode in a taxi with her mom, and the driver also used the emergency brake then.  It was hard to imagine what that would be like.  Now I know.  And it was scary.