Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Wednesday, March 24





I conducted a relaxation seminar today for the employees of the
office. They so deserve it, as they work so hard and wear themselves
out. I conducted deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle
relaxation, and some art activities. Then, we suprised them with massages
at the end. It was really fun and they were so grateful. Above are some pictures of the views of the city from the venue we were at.


We recently received this information from headquarters: ABC World
News aired a piece last night featuring Don Brewster and Clayton
Butler of AGAPE, our aftercare partners in Cambodia; our client Bella,
who has thrived in AGAPE’s loving care; and some powerful IJM
undercover footage of Bella, shot by Ron Dunne when he first
encountered her in the very dark and dangerous Anarchy building.

See the video piece here:
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/sex-trade-cambodian-children-10164798

Additionally, a written piece that mentions IJM directly appears on
ABC’s Web site.
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/cambodia-children-sold-slavery/story?id=10163645

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

This morning while I was blow drying my hair, I noticed a spider starting to hang down from the ceiling. Not knowing what to do, I decided to….blow dry it to death. Obviously. I pointed the dryer close to the spider to make sure it got super hot until I realized I was pointing my blow dryer directly onto the fire sprinkler. I quickly moved the dryer off praying it wouldn’t start spewing with water….that would have been an embarrassing story…..don’t worry it didn’t go off.

I lead the devotional before staff meeting today. Since I’m leading a relaxation seminar tomorrow, I thought it would be fitting to talk about being at peace. It seemed to be pretty effective for the employees since they are constantly under so much stress, they work so hard.

I worked with one of IJM’s STAR clients today. She was just…such an incredible person. She was so joyful, and so happy, and so grateful for how IJM has changed her life. She told us how she didn’t think she could have pursued charges for her perpetrator if it weren’t for IJM. Her case took 10 years to reach a conviction. 10 years. She is studying in mass communications now, which IJM has paid for. She has so much hope for the future, I was so encouraged and so honored to have met her.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

We visited the church of one of our employees this morning to celebrate it’s 77th anniversary. The location was in the heart of Manila, which I enjoy going to, because you see so many things on the ride over. Today we saw some pretty heart wrenching things. Kids typically play in the street, and we saw one little boy (maybe 8 or 9) wearing a shirt with no pants. When we got out of the car, another little boy came up to us and gave us a note in tagalog…likely asking for money…it’s so hard to know what to do and how to help in those situations. I keep remembering the verse in the Bible that talks about feeding and clothing “the least of these” and that when you feed/clothe the needy, you are feeding Jesus. We didn’t end up doing anything for the little boy on Sunday, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed out on an opportunity to “feed Jesus.” It’s such a struggle here because you don’t want to be paralyzed by the severity of the problem….or the myth that “it’s just the way things are” or that….since I’m here for child trafficking, that’s where I should offer help and not allot extra resources to other issues…especially one as hopeless as poverty.

Edgar and I were invited to watch Polo with a new friend we made last weekend. Who would have thought I would travel to a third world country to see my first polo match, and hang out with people who actually say the word “ghastly” during a conversation. Here in Manila, this happens. One moment you see a little kid not wearing pants, and the next you’re hanging at an ambassador’s house, and eating snails, tartar, and ox tongue (which is delicious by the way). It was an incredible experience, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity…it’s all very interesting to try to reconcile.

Friday, March 19, 2010

I’m pretty sure I’m getting carpal tunnel in my hand. I’ve been working on the STAR Training coming up in April, and have made about 500981029812 power point presentations since I got here. My thumb is so sore, I really think I might need to invest in a hand massage. I work in crazy bursts, then lose my energy to do anything. I think coming from grad school, then having to frantically put together the training for Samar, my brain has trained itself to only work in bursts. Fortunately it helps me to get a lot done, but I frequently wonder to myself why I’m working in such a hurry. I need to calm down….and take my own advice for the devotional I’m leading on Monday: Being at peace.

Cultural moment: I ordered a California Roll at lunch today for a meeting. The roll had mango in it, which I thought was so exciting and so tasty. I leaned over and told Ria (a coworker) that the roll had mango in it, and she looked at me strangely saying mango always comes with California rolls. It’s a California Roll. Duh.

Embarrassing Confession: I went with Leah to the hospital for her check up appointment. While we were waiting, I decided to go to the restroom (or comfort room as they call it here). I walked in, and my first thought was “what is a urinal doing in the woman’s bathroom?” Well, the urinal wasn’t in the wrong place….but I was. I quickly left as a man was walking in and I saw him double check out the bathroom signs to make sure he was going in the right place. My bad.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Leah has been talking about this grocery place called Santi’s, so we decided to go today after work. It was fabulous. So clean, and they offered so many groceries I wanted to buy. Last weekend, it was my intention to make a bean dip when we hung out, but I could not find refried beans at the grocery store. I bought black beans instead, but when I opened the can they were way too salty to use. So I made a non-bean dip. Well Santi’s had Old El Paso refried beans! I got so excited…until I saw the price. 400 pesos which would be about $8 for a can of beans. Goes to show you that you can find just about anything you want/need here, but for a price.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Inspired from a conversation I had with Leah yesterday

Things I've gotten used to (or are getting use to) here that might be considered...strange...when I return:

  • -Say “in a while” instead of “in a minute”
  • -Continue walking through metal detectors although it has gone off
  • -Carry toilet paper in my purse
    -Run onto elevators so they dont close and cut me in half, and then press the open and close button on every single floor
    -Order brown sugar with my coffee
    -Wash my dishes then use boiled water to sanitize them
    -Order rice with every meal (including dessert)
    -Start every sentence with "actually"
    -Communicate through text messages with businesses and bosses
    -Ask the bagboy at the grocery store to carry my bags home
    -Hold my hand up when walking in front of cars so they'll (hopefully?) slow down
    -Ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a square with my fingers (still not very good at that)
    -Go to the mall for anything I might need (groceries, dry cleaning, pay bills, office supplies, etc.)
    -Carry around a cloth to put over my mouth in case the pollution is bad
    -Communicate with my eyebrows
    -Crave mango at all hours of the day
    -Create my own traffic lanes and honk all the time while driving (if I'm still allowed to drive when I get back)
    -Buy a horn for my car that sounds like a police officer's car
    -If Boyz II Men come to my wedding, put their hand on my forehead as a sign of respect
    -Speak taglish (tagalog and english)...ok not as likely for that to happen

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My fiance (heheh) is amazing.

I have to brag for a minute, because a few weeks ago Corey told me his master plan to take up his time while I'm gone was to build a poker table. Well, he's already done...but I'm so proud


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Friday, March 12, 2010

IJM had a team building day today, and we brought in a local
organization who practices art therapy. It was fun to be a participant in a training like this instead of the leader. It was held in Bobby Manosa's house, a famous national artist who modeled his home using only native filipino materials. It was absolutely gorgeous. We got to meet him, and he was so welcoming and so gracious. Here are the signs that were on the bathroom that made me laugh:


Afterwards, the aftercare
department got to go to the shelter where they house several of
IJM's clients to celebrate their foundation day. It was awesome
to finally see and meet IJM's clients. I was able to buy
macaroons from a girl who has been learning to bake as a trade. I
had to refrain from saying I wanted 50 boxes and only bought
2...especially since I don't really like coconut. The girls were
gorgeous....and so young. I couldn't really stand to think of
what may have already happened to them in their lifetime. They
clearly loved their IJM social workers and clung to them until
they were told they needed to go somewhere else. One client told
Meldy she wanted to sing me a song...so I encouraged her to do so
thinking she would just start singing on the spot. the next thing
I knew...she was on stage singing into a microphone. The other
girls screamed for her like she was a superstar and started
throwing flowers up on stage for her.

I wanted to stay there forever and just love on them....and
somehow magically make them know they are special and meaningful
their lives are..and that their bodies were not created to solely
serve a sexual purpose. you can tell by the way they pose for
photo how...sexualized...they feel. and if you grow up thinking
that is your purpose in life...or that is how you can make
money..it makes sense why you would value that about yourself. The
full time workers at this job definitely have their work cut out
for them and I have a lot of respect for what they do.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010


From what I'm hearing, in the Philippines women don't shop around for wedding dresses, they shop around for wedding dress designers....and I may have made an appointment to meet with one....and I may have gone to that appointment. and it was SO FUN. I've pretty much convinved myself (with the help of Shannon and Kelley) that I should definitely get a wedding dress custom made here. (the cost is significantly cheaper here than in the United States....and no the money I receive from IJM donations do not go to this :))So much for the whole "waiting to plan my wedding until I get back to the states" plan. I've notified mom and dad to start thinking about my budget...I think they're scared.

Thankfully, Hope and Leah were willing to come with me since this is something I would probably want my mom and other friends attending with me. I had sent the designer some pictures for inspiration and when I got there he designed the dress on the spot. His drawing was beautiful, but as I saw some of his sample dresses I wasn't too impressed for the amount of money he asking. Then he said he wanted to have a visible zipper in the back of the dress because that is the "in" thing right now. I had to tame the bridezilla in me when he told me this. I'm positive I don't want a visible zipper on my wedding dress. So in some ways, I'm glad my first appointment isn't "it", because that means I get to go meet with other designers and see what they say. The pressure is on though...because if I design a dress....and it's ugly...I'll only have myself to blame. Or maybe Corey....just cause he's usually the one taking on my irrational emotions.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

This weekend was pretty relaxing. I saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D which was interesting and got a manicure for about $3. It looks good! A roach crawled on my chair halfway through, but I calmly asked the manicurist to knock it off. I'm growing!

Confession: I was looking online last to see if there was any possible way to have Boyz II Men play at my wedding....which I didn't find out...but I DID find out that Boyz II Men is coming to Manila in August! haha yay! Mike, Nate, Sean, and Wan...if you're reading this...I'd love for you to be a part of my special day.

My mouse friend came to visit me again today. I was proud of myself because I saw him underneath another person's desk, I calmy turned to grab my camera and take a picture, but then he was gone. I felt so good that I didn't freak until I looked down and saw him by feet. It was then that I squealed and ran over to Mike's cubicle once again...which he thought was hilarious.

I joined a dance studio today to start the working out process. You pay one price and can take as many dance classes as you want which is so fun. People here don't really have a problem, though, telling you that you're fat. Josie warned me of this when we were at the training site last week. I was glad I was warned when Joyce at one point told me to "come sit over here you big mammal!" She then caveated her sentence by saying her mother used to be a biology teacher and would say it to her all the time...but still! I remember another time during the training when I was talking to the social workers about self care. I asked them what they do to take care of themselves, and one woman yelled out "eat!" and another woman yelled, "it shows!" Anyways, the dance instructor kept grabbing my gut last night saying we needed to work on this before my wedding. Good thing I have a good self esteem.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Crazy that this morning I was in Samar, and tonight I went to a ritzy masquerade ball to raise money for trafficking. The women were soooo dressed up and beautiful. I love it when women feel beautiful and their confidence is high. The band was incredible, except it kind of reminded me of the SNL skit with that woman and Will Ferrell when they sing popular songs in an operatic tone. The band had amazing voices but were singing Lady Gaga songs, and Fergie…but also a lot of salsa songs too. Most people there were amazing dancers, and we noticed a lot of these older women were dancing with much younger men. We figured they probably hired escorts or their dance instructors to come to events such as these. But the highlight of the night was meeting a woman named Cecille, who has been named a modern day hero by Hilary Clinton for her work in child trafficking. Her life story is incredible, and she is one of the sweetest, most humble people I have ever met. It was such an honor to spend the night with her.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Yesterday I asked Elena (coordinator of IJM-SSO) if there were any places to buy souvenirs, or if any of our clients sold anything like jewelry for their livelihood. She basically told me all people do here is fish in order to sustain themselves.


We went to the office early in the morning to have breakfast, more crab, rice and shrimp, oh and mango….which I’ve been having for every meal since I mentioned to Joyce and Josie that it was my favorite food here so far. I met a women working in the office who is a mother of 2 of IJM’s clients. Her daughters were trafficked when they were 13 and 16 I believe. A friend had told them she wanted to take them on vacation to Manila, so when they got to Manila, a friend of the friend then trafficked the girls into the sex trade. When the mother found out her children had left to go to Manila, she scrounged up the money to go to Manila and look for them. I was shocked she did this considering how big Manila is, and how many possible bars they could have been in. The mother wandered the streets, and saw one of her daughters walking down the street in only a few days. I started crying hearing this story, and realizing the love this mother had for her children to wander the streets of Manila looking for her children. It was a picture of God and how he cares and chases after his children. Elena told me this mother makes homemade peanut butter and sells it for her livelihood…so we bought all she had. 16 bottles of peanut butter haha…and its sooooooo good.


This day of training was by far one of the greatest days of my life. If the only reason I came to Manila was for this training, then it would all be worth it. I finished teaching all the components, and had them break into groups to role play each component (allowing them to speak their own language). They were amazing. They had captured every detail I thought could maybe be lost in translation. While I couldn’t specifically understand what they were saying, I knew they got it. I stood up after they were all over to just share how amazed I was and started crying into the microphone haha. A woman raised her hand and said while I had given them the gift of all this information, that their role plays were their gift to me….showing me they got it.


During a break, I stopped at the table where the heads of each department sat. I asked them if they felt they could use the leftover art supplies I had brought for the training and one of them started crying saying they had nothing like this in their office. At that point I wished I had brought more.


We did a graduation ceremony, and let some of the heads of departments speak about their experience. One woman said that she had been to a lot of trainings, but none that gave them so many resources. She said she didn’t understand why an NGO would want to help them so bad, and that IJM has been the only NGO that has really been able to do that. She said she was so grateful for having discovered IJM and couldn’t wait to get back and utilize what they had learned. Another woman got up saying that while all three organizations there were very poor, that hers was the poorest, and that when I had given them art supplies, the leaders of the other departments decided to give her a majority of the supplies (amidst their lack of supplies, as well). She started crying saying how amazing it was to have these things, but she knows now that she doesn’t need these supplies to be good counselors, that she has herself and her talent in order to go help people. She got so fired up that afterwards everyone joked that they should vote for her for president. It was amazing for me to witness these social workers feeling so empowered and so refreshed to go out and do good work for the clients in their area. Joyce then got up and said she would make sure to bring supplies for them next time she came. Incredible.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So did I mention that Edgar and I have a bodyguard here? Yes, it makes me feel important, and slightly unsafe, but I talked to Raymond today and he said it is pretty much protocol to have a body guard for someone visiting from another country. Part of it might have to do with Filipino hospitality, which is amazing, but Samar can at times be a political hotspot. Raymond said the bodyguard we had was great and he would even call ahead of time to make sure the area was OK for us to be there. And he’s prepared for everything…I was trying to open a box today and he came over within seconds with a knife in hand to open the box…or when I have been walking somewhere outside when it’s dark, he has his flashlight in hand to help me. I forget sometimes that he is here for me until I start to walk away and notice he is close behind. I keep trying to say stuff to make him laugh since he always looks so serious. Very nice to know I’m being watched out for. (and Corey’s happy too J)

I have to say today was amazing. I taught about the first few components of this theory which include psychoeducation, parenting skills, relaxation, and affective modulation. I ended up spending a lot of time on the relaxation part, knowing these workers could use some relaxation, so they ended up loving the Progressive Muscle Relaxation we did together. Prior to doing this, though, I had taught them how to help clients find their safe place using guided imagery. I had the social workers find and draw their safe place (yes, in America this is so….what people make fun of counselors in the movies for, but it was very effective). One lady raised her hand to share (and yes participation has increased dramatically, thankfully). She said she came from a very poor area, and has had a very hard life, but the place she feels safest is when she is in presence of Jesus. She picked up her picture and started crying saying she is most at peace when she knows she is in the middle of God’s will, and knows when she is at church she is safe and the happiest she can be than anywhere else. I was so moved by her story, and so grateful she was willing to be so open and authentic with the group.


That night we ate dinner before finding out we had a surprise dinner planned at the best restaurant in Samar. So….I ended up eating 2 dinners obviously. We ate chili crab and shrimp, and I have to say that every meal I’ve had has been the best seafood I have ever eaten.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Went to sleep at 11….and woke up at 2am to shower and finish packing for out trip. We left at 3am for the airport, and arrived at our destination around 7. We were so excited to arrive, and we could definitely tell a distinct difference in the air. We had forgotten what fresh air was like. There was so much green around….and water. I think when I pictured myself in the Philippines, it would have been more in a place like this. Very rural, but gorgeous. There aren’t many cars on the road, but tricycles (meaning either a bike or a motorcycle with attached carts to carry people on). The Filipinos are so innovative. We immediately notice IJM flyers/posters flying on the back of these tricycles. Josie, head of the Aftercare department, was so excited to see them everywhere. They had previously distributed 2000 of these “tarpolines”, but before doing so, had a half day training seminar for the drivers who would be hanging them on their tricycle. Because the drivers would be giving up half a day of work, IJM provided them with rice that would sustain their family so that they wouldn’t be missing out on an opportunity to make money for their family. I thought it was so cool that IJM thought to prepare the drivers in this way. We showed up to the office and had a very elaborate breakfast prepared…..shrimp, crab, and rice….no not dinner….breakfast.


I was feeling anxious to get to the venue where I would begin teaching, but I have been trying to prepare myself to live by Filipino time and not get too antsy when I am what I would consider to be late. The first few trainings started out pretty rocky to be honest. I think I pictured this experiential learning environment where everyone would be speaking up and discussing their experiences (much like my classes in grad school), but when I would pose a question to the group I would sit in silence….which I tried to be comfortable with for a while…but my silence didn’t make them talk. I was concerned about the language difference, and had to talk very slowly and simply so they could understand. Although there was a slight language barrier, I still felt very grateful I was in a country where I could communicate in English, and not have to learn another language before doing anything.


Before the lunch break, I could sense some frustration in the group, as well. I sat down with some just to discuss what was going on, and a woman said to me, “I’m sorry we aren’t talking, we’re just so star struck. We’ve never had an American come to teach us before.” I realized that all this work I put in could not be effective, unless everything came together for them, as well. I said a prayer asking God that this training could be relevant and useful for them the rest of the time. Throughout the rest of the afternoon I could definitely tell a difference in the groups comfort level not only with each other, but with me. And I just started asking Raymond, the social worker at the IJM Samar Satellite Office, to lead the discussions when those opportunities arose. This was good not only for the visiting social workers because they could speak in their language, but for Raymond because it helped to develop his leadership skills, and also for me because it was so much more beneficial for everyone else.

The first day just covered basic counseling skills, counseling children and adolescents, techniques, and play therapy. The group was so excited when I taught them the new technique of “reflection” instead of feeling like they had to question clients over and over again. They were just soaking everything in that I had to say, and were clearly starving for more and more information.

Before my session on just techniques in working with children and adolescents, a woman raised her hand just explaining to me how poor they were, and how they had no financial capabilities to do the kind of counseling done in the United States since they are unable to buy supplies or have play rooms for children. I spent the next hour showing them techniques to use with their clients that require minimal resources, and they were so receptive and so excited to have discovered these new ways of working with clients.



The next 2 days were going to be on a counseling theory related to trauma, so I finished the day with an experiential activity Catherine and I created in grad school, just adjusted to fit a situation related to the sex trade. It’s an activity called In Her Shoes that puts counselors in the shoes of their clients in order to better understand them. After the activity and as we closed the day, a man stood up and teared up as he talked about how powerful the activity was for him. He said he wasn’t supposed to have attended the training, but knows why he is here and is grateful he was able to come.



I passed out at like 8pm that night and slept beautifully.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I was busy preparing for the training today. Leah went into the hospital for what we think is a kidney infection. She knew a man here that drove us over and helped get her checked into the emergency room. It turns out his classmate is the vice president of the hospital and president of some doctor’s association for all of the Philippines. When we mentioned his name in the emergency room, it was like everyone stopped and had to take a deep breath. We were very impressed with the hospital that is close by. Very clean, very friendly, very knowledgeable staff. Only in the Philippines would they recommend Balut to a nauseous person (especially Leah who can’t stomach most of the food here). Balut is a fertilized egg….so it has a beak and feathers within the egg….apparently it's something I will have to eat before I leave. And I’m scared.


I spent the entire day picking up supplies, packing things, and getting organized. I had a huge stack of papers to be photocopied in order to be distributed at my training. The person photocopying for me left in the middle of the day (which I didn’t realize until it was 5:00pm and time to go home). So I walked into the room and the well organized stack I had given him, although mostly photocopied, was in disarray and I had no idea where to start. Plus the copier was all out of paper. Irrational panic and frustration started to set in. I still needed to go back to the hospital to see Leah, so Edgar calmed me down, offered to go pick up the copy paper, and said he would help me when I got back.


After getting back from the hospital (now around 6pm), I got out of the cab in front of my building to see all the lights in the street just go out. I thought it was an electrical shortage, which I know now was a scheduled blackout, but I still needed to organize at least day 1 of the papers that had been photocopied (about 30 pages for each people for each day). We had 2 keychain flashlights and lights from our cell phones that we placed throughout the room so we could minimally see. It was kind of comical how ridiculous we all looked trying to put these papers together in the dark. We got Day 1 done, thanks to everyone who came in to help me, and just stuffed the rest of the papers in a box to be organized when we got to Samar. I knew a lot of the sets of papers would have missing sheets because there were various numbers of leftovers when we got to the end of our organizing, when we should not have had any. We ended up leaving around 7, still needed to pack and go back to the hospital before getting up at 2am to leave for the airport. Stresssssssssssss