Wednesday, April 14 Becoming Your Own Superstar

So finally weeks of preparation have all come together (for the most part) for the STAR Training to happen. We titled it “Becoming Your Own SuperSTAR.” IJM STARS are clients who are dedicated to use their story to advocate for victim’s rights (STAR stands for Standing Together to Advocate Rights). STAR qualities that we look for in clients include Strong interpersonal skills and sustained positive attitude, a Teachable heart, Abilty to develop a genuine passion for IJM, and a Responsible member of the community.

Honestly, preparing for this training has been really stressful. There was so much to do, and as usual, not enough time to get it all done. I’m always amazed at how well the IJM Manila office works as a team. People in the office are so selfless and were so willing to help out in whatever way was needed. They never made me feel bad about asking for assistance, and never acted put upon even for the most minor of projects (which I really needed). It’s been so hard also because my supervisor has been sick and out of town, and she has usually the one guiding me on preparations. When I did the training for Samar, I planned it a week after I got here, for the following week…so it was all a blur and I had a hard time remembering all I needed to do.

Additionally, I just cared so much about it’s success. The reason I’m here, and the reason IJM exists is for these clients…and I got 3 days (now cut down to 2 to include travel time to the venue) to teach them whatever I wanted or thought was important. I knew going into this that we would constantly be off schedule and that I needed to prepare myself to not get super irritated when the training was delayed or we would have to cut things out. Even before the training began, I could tell I’m continually learning about patience here…and having to let things happen versus preparing for every single second of an event. I need to better develop the ability to just be in the moment versus focusing on what is next or what is not happening. I kept reminding myself that it was better to over prepare, than not have enough…and I knew that I had included too much information, so I needed to give up the fact that we would be able to include everything in the training. I just so desperately wanted to provide as much information as possible and to help these clients however I could. When we would get off schedule I would have to continually remind myself….is it about me and the work I had prepared? Or about them? Obviously about the clients...and in these situations quality is much more important than quantity. I kept thinking It would be kind of nice if I could just relax since the power points are prepared and just let the training happen…although my personality had difficulty just kicking back and doing that. Every time I would calm myself down and think I was finally ok to just go with the flow during this training…something would happen and I would freak out (internally) about the schedule again (combo of me being American and type A….and a control freak). The Philippines is good for me…if it doesn’t give me a heart attack first.

The venue was gorgeous…we went up north to the mountains where the air would be cooler. Of course we were hours late leaving for the venue as we attempted to pick up all the clients from their pick up points, then once we started orientation presentations (which were supposed to end around 2pm) we did not actually get started on the self esteem training until 4:30pm. Language is definitely more of an issue with the clients than it was in Samar, which is why it was good Josie recommended I pass the baton (the PowerPoint presentations and resources prepared) to the other social workers in the office.


The self esteem workshops were very effective. For one entire workshop, we read scripture verses to the clients sharing with them of their uniqueness and importance, according to how God sees them. They had a long time to discuss and pick out verses that were especially meaningful to them, and I came to find out later they wished they had more time, as they had never heard anything like this before.

As I sat in the room, I would look around at all 30 people (29 girls and 1 boy) and just wonder how much tragedy was in the room. I didn’t know most of their stories and just couldn’t imagine how these young…beautiful people could be abused, raped, sold by family members, and rejected. In the midst of these thoughts…wondering about the amount of trauma in the room, I was also reminded by the insane amount of hope that existed that overpowered those tragedies considering these children and teenagers were in the training…sitting in chairs right now…soaking everything in….desperately wanting to improve their life…searching for something better…wanting something more for their life.

It was a client’s birthday tonight, so we bought her a cake and sang to her. In the Philippines, people genuinely make birthday wishes for the birthday person, then that person says a little speech to the group. She expressed that her birthday wish for this year was that no one would go back to selling themselves for sex. It was a very powerful and precious moment…then when she saw her birthday cake she was so shocked and so obviously grateful. She had never had a cake before and had no idea how to cut it.