Wednesday morning, February 10, 2010

I spent yesterday morning in a coffee shop close to work that was very nice with a lot of trees and a waterfall sculpture. I needed time to look up some scriptures on worry and about peace. I don’t want to be naïve about this fire thing, but I also can’t live here for the rest of the time worrying my apartment will catch on fire. I was able to find this scripture which offered me some encouragement. James 1:24 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. For me the “keeping oneself unspotted from the world meant” to not live in fear, but to be moving in peace that surpasses all understanding. Going to work was very useful too and God answered many of my prayers. We had hummus for lunch (something I’ve been missing), but more than that I learned some of the ways I will be able to be used in this office, and I developed a love for the people I came in contact with today. It looks like I will get to help with the STAR Program, which is a program for survivors who have gone through the process and are now ready to serve as advocates. They are also interested in using me to offer free counseling support to them, as well as do trainings for not just IJM social workers, but governmental employees in Trauma focused cognitive behavioral therapy. Plus, whatever helps Josie, my supervisor, with her ridiculous caseload and work responsibilities. The people in the office are so amazing and supportive of me, and that is just what I needed. During prayer time, people were praying about big issues related to our clients and the office’s goals, and it put my fears into perspective. I was nervous to express my fears with my dad because I didn’t want to worry him, but he was so confident in my mission here that it really helped. He said to me that God did not send me here to die in a fire, and that he has trusted his daughter to God and to the city of Manila, because he believes I am supposed to be here. And I believe that too. Plus in my heart of hearts, I know this area is safe. The guards go up and down the elevators all night to check on the floors and there is a fire station right close by. I will be fine.

I took my third cold shower today (notice…one was not taken yesterday) and it really isn’t too bad, but I’m going to buy a water heater as soon as I get ready for work. And maybe some foam soap….because that junk makes me happy.